People line up when they see him coming. He’s the guy that plays and sings for you while he cooks up your order of friend grasshoppers, scorpions, crickets, and frogs.
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Tag: Pattaya
Watch “Racy Drag Show At Mixer Bar Jomtien/Pattaya” on YouTube
Even the dog gets in on the act…
My First Quora Answer: Exotic Gay Travel
Quora question:
photo: A golden elephant adorned with flowers stands majestically in the lobby of the fancy Mandarin Orient Hotel, Bangkok.
Answer: Thailand Is My Favorite Exotic Gay Destination
I’ve visited Thailand ten times since 2005. My go to spot is Dongtan Gay Beach, it’s in the town of Jomtien just south of Pattaya, the “Extreme City”. There are more gorgeous men who throw themselves at you left and right than there are noodles in China.
photo: Matteus, one of the extremely attentive and flirty attendants at the beach concessions, Dongtan Gay Beach, Jomtien/Pattaya, Thailand.
Gay Guest Houses
I’ve stayed at “Tui’s Place”, “DD Inn”, “Feelgood Rooms”, and my favorite is “BB House Inn” aka “Best Bed House”. The average cost of these rooms are less than twenty bucks US$ a night! And BB House is about 20 steps away from the gay beach.
Gay Bars
My favorite bars are “BC Bar”, I think it stands for Boy Cambodia, where most of the staff are from. Also the “@ Home”, “La Dolce Vita”, and “4T”. All of these are in a one or two block area known as “Jomtien Complex”. There’s at least a dozen bars, with a couple dozen young men working in each. They make their living on drink commissions, and hopefully a “take off”. This is where you pay a “bar fine” for taking them home with you. So for a drink and one for the boy, bar fine, and “tip-tip”, it’ll run you from $30 to $50. Such a deal.
Boyztown
For more lurid options, take a ten minute baht bus or moto-taxi ride to Pattaya. The most famous gay area is “Boyztown”. There’s about a dozen bars that feature drag, go go boy, and strip shows. “Boys Boys Boys” is the best and most famous one. They have a scandalous “cock show” around 1am every night. It’s a bit more upscale than Jomtien Complex, so the same drinks and take off will run you $50 to $100. The men are slightly older (late 20’s as opposed to early 20’s) and more muscular.
Sunni Plaza
For a sleazier “down market” experience in Pattaya, go to Sunni Plaza. Yes Sunni, as in Muslim. The most peculiar place, where gorgeous straight Arab men walk arm in arm, and live and work in hookah bars, cheek to jowl among dozens of gay go go bars and brothels. My favorite is “Good Boys Bar”. For about $10, you get your choice of cutie pie, a drink for both of you, and a “cock show” in the darkened back area of the bar. Most of them are straight, and watch girlie porn on their phones while performing. But what do you expect for $10? Ummm, they let you, umm, assist them also.
photo: Chai, who I met in Sunni Plaza. Notice the hookah bar in the background? It was directly across the soi (alleyway) from one of the gay beer gardens where he worked.
Bangkok
If you’ve never been, you may as well hit Bangkok for a few days before taking the two hour bus ride to Jomtien/Pattaya. I stay at the “Malaysia Hotel” near Lumpini Park. It’s not far from the notorious “Pat Pong” area of downtown where there’s also a Boys Town with a dozen scandalously fun go go boy bars. Also near is the “Tawan Muscle Boy Bar”, the “Jupiter Club”, the “Balcony Bar”, and the institutional “Telephone Bar”. “Jimmy’s Disco” if you like loud, crowded with young twinks dance clubs.
photo: Bangkok Pride Swimsuit Competition, Lumpini Park, Bangkok.
MASSAGE!!!
Ever had a Thai massage? After just two or three days of massage, my back pain and sciatica disappeared. It’s a brutally pleasant experience, where they twist, fold, and bend you into healing yogic positions using their hands, feet, elbows, and knees. Or try a foot massage, which includes calves, neck and shoulders too. And cheap, cheap, cheap! Anywhere from $4 to $10 an hour for legit. Fifteen to thirty for, umm, non-legit with, umm, happee ending.
I love the Thai Blind Massage Institute, nestled in between the bars at Jomtien Complex. They have about 30 blind people, men and women, who give the best legit massages in town. $8 to $15 including tip. Blind people are very gifted and intuitive with touch and I highly recommend this place.
Not Far From There
Nowadays, I skip Bangkok and take the government bus from the airport directly to Pattaya/Jomtien. It’s about $4. From my base there I try to visit one more city in SE Asia every year, such as Phnom Penh, Siem Reap (Angkor Wat), and further away Hong Kong, and Taipei.
I’ve also visited Phuket; Patong Beach is where all the action is. I loved Chiang Mai the two times I went, it’s about half price on everything from Bangkok. There’s lots of gay action in both.
photo: This adorable cutie-pie was a performer at “My Way” cabaret show bar in the Paradise Complex, Patong Beach, Phuket.
A Few Tips
The bars change hands and names frequently, so two great resources for current info are Nicky’s Pattaya, and Utopia Asia. Google them and all the other names I’ve mentioned, I’m sure you’ll be on the next plane.
Now, look: I’m mad at Thailand right now. There’s a military coup in power there, and they seem to go back and forth between cracking down and loosening up, and they don’t tolerate any criticism or dissent. So be careful what you say and post, and for God’s sake DO NOT say anything bad or critical about His Majesty The King or any of the Royal family.
Bali
I visited Bali in 2007 and loved it. Not as developed for tourism as Thailand but I sure had great luck meeting hot men there. Especially at the north end of Kuta Beach. From 4 ish in the afternoons to 9 ish or so there’s hundreds of “Kuta Cowboys” cruising for hookups with westerners (they go with men and/or women!).
There weren’t many options for gay lodging, but I did stay at the gay friendly Kumala Grand in Legian, just north of Kuta Beach. Also, Ganesha Beach is in Seminyak, the next town north of Legian. It’s pretty gay for Bali, and there’s a cruisy bush area. I had a massage $6 to $9, and lunch $5, every day at Callego Warung (outdoor restaurant) and Massage, also at Ganesha Beach.
photo: The garden behind Callego Warung And Massage, Ganesha Beach, Bali.
I Hope This Helps You
I hope this gives you a starting point for your travel plans. For some fun and trashy stories and pictures of my Thailand and Bali travels, and their fantastic food, why not pop on over to my photo adventures blog: Photojimsf.com.
P.S.: The Philippines is on my bucket list so I have no info to share on that yet.
No Sapicey Please
Just how much heat can one put on the table? Plenty, as long as it stays on the table and not on my plate.
I do test myself on occasion, my limit is about one third of a red hot Thai chillie pepper. It’s enough to judiciously spank the tongue three or four times, spread eagled out over the course of a meal.
That’s about what you see on this decadently fatty dish of crispy fried pork with basil over rice. I’m so grateful the family run Ran Nong Som restaurant knows exactly how spicy I like it. Btw, they’re a sweet Cambodian family and it’s on Jomtien Beach Road, a few doors past Soi 3.
Many places, due to language differences or spite, will get it wrong and make it more spicy. Like the sweet chili fried fish I had in Bangkok last week. A perfectly good whole fish crispy fried but then smothered to death in a sweet pineapple tamarind sauce that must have had at least 30 of the satanic little devils.
Cheapskate that I am and not wanting to waste an $8 investment, I gulped a swig of Singha and jumped into the fire. Four heroic bites later and I was begging the Lord Buddha for compassion and mercy. A plate of plain rice and two Singhas later and my mouth is still ablaze by the napalm. I won’t even go into the ensuing violence on the throne back at the hotel.
It’s not a good idea to send a dish back in Thailand, especially at the budget eateries because it causes loss of money and face. You might end up with a spit loogie, cigarette ash, or cock roach in your food. Or they will try to twist it around and ask then why did you order spicy? The waiter or the cook most likely will be docked for the error unless you graciously apologise for misordering.
The most important Thai words to know when ordering:
ped = spicy
Ped nit noy = just a little bit spicy
Mai pet = no spicy
Be sure to add ka (if you’re female) or krup (if you’re a male) at the end. It means thank you please ten thousand times, and shows that you’re polite and classy.
Here’s more on ordering spicy foods in Thailand from the fabulously informative “Women Learn Thai” website.
It’s an amusing read with audio pronunciations and the comments are hilarious.
A Picture Of Innocence
Innocence article on Wikipedia.
